G³ Presents: Pistol, the tiny, blonde firearms expert!

author image by [G³] | GIRLS | 2 Comments | 10 Jan 2016

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The world of firearms is largely a world dominated by men.  It’s also a great way for a guy to win over a pissing contest. If you show up to a gun range meetup boasting your P226 only for your buddy to show up with his Salient Glock, you’ll have to apply a cold compress to that ego bruise.

And that’s where Pistol shatters your entire reality.

5’2 and barely 100lbs of rock hard muscle, this tiny blonde haired blue eyed Texan has the biggest (and most) boomsticks out of you and your friends combined. She spends a solid 20 hours plus at the range weekly, and enjoys reloading ammunition to relax. She probably knows more about guns than you. And the kicker?

She can outshoot you.

Pistol: “I love guns. They’re a hobby for some, but a real passion for me” she says with a shit eating grin. “It’s Call Of Duty, but real life”.

G³ : So what got you into guns?

Pistol: “Vidja games, honestly haha! I’d see a desert eagle in counter-strike and want one. Or a SCAR-H in Battlefield and so on. So eventually, here I am with a full blown arsenal of guns worth more than some people’s cars!”

G³ : So you play HoTS, and commonly get compared to being the real-life Nova. Have you ever sniped somebody?

Pistol: “Tupac.”

G³ : Shots fired.

Pistol: “A lot of shots, actually. I damn near live at the range haha!”

G³ : So there has to be an interesting reaction upon seeing you walk up to the counter at a gun store or range. Tell us about that.

Pistol: “Well, when I first started off just buying guns, I’d always have to repeat myself with my choices. It’s like, the clerk wouldn’t pull down an FAL for me because he couldn’t believe I wasn’t some 380 shooting prissy bitch. Or I’d walk up to my lane at the gun range and have the guys around me chuckle when I pulled out my firearm. But things have changed. Now I walk into the gun store and the owner or manager will give me a hug and show me the latest in fuckall boomsticks. And those morons at the range don’t chuckle anymore”

G³ : I’ve seen your videos. I’m not chuckling.

Pistol: *Makes a gun finger, aims it at me and ‘shoots’*

G³ : So what’s your favorite gun?

Pistol: “Hmm… It depends. For reliability EDC, I’d go with an XDM. For handcannons I’m a desert eagle girl (Editors Note: She owns 4). For rifles, I’m an AK-47 girl. For just fun fuckoff shotguns, I’m in love with the UTS-15. When it wants to work right haha. Am I rambling?”

G³ : If I say ‘no’ will I make it out of here alive?

Pistol: You sound like an ISIS supporter.

G³ : You make me kinda nervous. Anything to say to the community?

Pistol: Yeah. Gratata haha





  • author image
    Amanoth Reply
    Jan 11, 2016 @ 4:36 am

    ~May your pathing guide you to victory~

    I could write that. but then I saw in the tags: “dem tittehs” and I lost my shit because I’m flat and old. So here’s an empty comment that doesnt say anything and just waists your time.

    PS: Also… Vp, it takes a lot more strength to take punishment than to deal it. *BOOM.* Shots fired. Although admittedly, after my dad touched me I lost all self respect, so…

    • author image
      Jul 18, 2016 @ 9:57 am

      You used “waists” when you should have used “wastes”. Like the saying goes, “It’s better to be silent and thought of as an idiot than to open your mouth and remove all doubts”.
      Well, you’ve most certainly removed all doubts, Kelly lol.

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